Dead to Me
by xChaiChanx
Summary: They meet on the roof for one last talk. Warning suicide. NOT a yaoi story.


"Meeting on the roof again, it seems ironic in a way." Suzaku said as he came through the doors approaching Lelouch who was staring into the sky from the railing. "It doesn't feel right." Lelouch didn't look up but smirked a bit.

"Hm, I guess you're right. If that's the case, though, why did you come up here?" Lelouch asked slyly.

"I..." Lelouch turned around to face Suzaku. They didn't smile or frown, or say anything. They just stood there, the silence enough fill their suspicions.

"Lelouch... why did you call me up here?" To Suzaku it seemed wrong, or at the very least inappropriate. He was standing before Zero... and he knew it. Yet all he could do was stare at him.

"I wanted to say goodbye to an old friend." Lelouch's face had a slight glare, masking how he would miss his good friend.

Suzaku sighed. "I guess it can't be helped, huh?" Suzaku walked over to the railing.

"No, I guess it can't." Lelouch looked away from Suzaku's face and starred off.

"This... will be the last time we ever meet as friends, which is why..."

Lelouch peered over to Suzaku with a questioning look.

"...Before... Lelouch, your reason for living, for fighting is for Nunally, right?"

"Yes."

"My reason for living, fighting... never really existed, and when I finally thought... she was gone. And now, no matter what I do I only realize... I have nothing. To keep myself alive I have to keeping shedding the blood of those who don't need to die." Suzaku paused for a moment. "I'm the white grim reaper. That's what they call me."

Lelouch peered over at Suzaku, whose eyes were filling with tears as they ran down his face.

"I thought I knew the difference between wrong and right, I still believe I do, but..." Lelouch put a hand on his shoulder and Suzaku looked over.

"Suzaku, I can't stop fighting, not with how far I've come. I won't stop living, not with everything I had worked towards to live for, and I won't lose, not with victory in my grasp." Suzaku smiled and Lelouch's glare was replaced with a shocked expression.

"I wish I was as strong as you..." Suzaku tore himself from his grip and hoisted himself onto the railing.

"Suzaku!"

"But I'm not." Suzaku looked over at Lelouch and smiled. His hands released themselves from the pole as he fell backwards off the building, still smiling.

"Suzaku!! Get off of there! What are you doing?!"

"I've betrayed my country, my morals, my friends and the people in my life who I have cared for have all left me. There's only one thing I feel as though I could do."

"What are you talking about?! I thought you were in the army for a reason!"

"Hmmm, Lelouch forgive me, all I have wanted to do was bring you down, kill you even, and yet you stand here in front of your biggest obstacle still trying to save him." Suzaku smiled. "I still want to bring you down... ever since you had come to Japan -no- Area 11, I have found my existence is of no use."

Lelouch's eyes were wide as he watched the boy stand on the other side of the railing, ready to let go at an moment.

"Suzaku..." Lelouch looked at him too shocked to move, to say anything. He didn't know if he should help or not. That was when Suzaku gave a sudden cry of pain.

"Argh!"

"Suzaku!"

"Augh!! My.. head, AUGH!" His breathing became harsh and his grip on the railing became so fierce blood was trickling from his palms and down the iron poles. "Why can't I... I have to, I can't...!"

'That's right! My Geass!'

"You're all talk, Suzaku. Stop being dramatic and get over on the other side of the ledge!" Lelouch yelled angrily as Suzaku gripped the railing even harder.

"I... I can't," Suzaku panted, trying with all his will to fight what his entire body was trying to tell him not to do. His eyes flickered from red to green. "I have to... for the sake, for the sake of my country!" Lelouch who had previously tried to run over and grab Suzaku's wrist suddenly paused and glared at the back of the brown haired boy's form.

"What country?" He asked almost in a growl. This caused Suzaku's eyes to snap open and widen. The red of the geass completely gone.

Slowly Suzaku turned his form ever so slightly so that he was facing Lelouch. "I don't know anymore." He whispered as he let his bleeding hands release the railing. The irises in Lelouch's eyes shrunk as he felt a burning in his chest.

_No, I don't want to kill! _

_At first I thought it was because my power was weakening, but I think it was because it was just an order Euphie really couldn't accept. _

_More importantly, Suzaku you're Japanese right? No... I can't think about that. _

"I'll meet you in hell, Zero." Lelouch tried to reach out a hand for him but it was too late as Suzaku's form gracefully fell from the edge.

Everything was silent as Lelouch stared in utter horror as Suzaku fell to the hard floor, never tearing his eyes away from the other boy's. The smile still on his face.

_"I'll meet you in hell, Zero." _

"SUZAKU!"

--

"I don't know what to say to you." Lelouch looked down at the grave. and sunk to his knees and bowed his head.

"You're too naive, you always had been, but I thought you would be smarter then this!" Lelouch screamed.

"You! You betrayed both sides, and you don't even know it." He glared at the grave as hard as he could. C.C. watched him from behind a tree.

"Bastard... you're reason for dying... it was all for me, huh? It's all on my conscience now, right?!" Lelouch fisted his hands into the dirt, tears falling freely from his eyes. "You died while we were still friends, that was the only way to bring me down wasn't it?!"

Lelouch stood up and glared at the grave again, tears still making their way down his face. "It won't work, I'll win. I'll create a world that wouldn't have needed you anyway, my gift to you."

He turned his back and walked away from the grave, C.C. still watching him walk.

"Let's go, C.C. I only came here to say goodbye to an old friend."

That's right Suzaku, I can no longer spill tears over you. I will not mourn for you and I will take advantage of the opportunity you have given me. Despite what you had hoped, you are dead to me from now and forever more.


End file.
